Do do do do, Do do do do

I submit to you a portrait of a mother with one dream: a day without bickering. On this particular morning she lies in bed in a true dream state. She awakes to pleas for breakfast. Or does she? Up ahead, a dream with all her desires, an entrance that leads to calm, happiness and...The Twilight Zone....

Today was one of the best and freakiest I’ve had in a while. In fact, it was such a freak of nature that I’m wondering if there’s a full moon. A change in the wind? Hormones? Pod people? The Twilight Zone? What on earth can account for the fact that my children got along today? I submit the following evidence for your approval and amusement.

Freakiness the First: I was snuggled up nice and warm in my bed. My children asked for breakfast and I figured, hey, they’re 5 and 8, they can make their own. I decide to suggest they make frozen waffles knowing full well this will be met with escalating levels of hysterics, but I figure it will give me the impetus to get myself out of bed. So I explain how to make frozen waffles and . . . THEY MAKE THEM. Oh, yes. They did. No fires. No melty butter on the counters. No sticky syrup on the floor. And I didn’t even have to move the covers.

Freakiness the Second: After breakfast I suggest we all watch The Corpse Bride in my bed because, as I said, I ain’t movin’. THEY AGREE to watch the movie with me. Let me break it down for you. We watched the movie together with no bickering. Neither Max (oldest) nor Wild Thing (formerly known as Munchkin) complained when I paused said movie so one or the other could go to the bathroom, get a drink, or get a snack. No one cried because the other was closer to laying on top of me than the other. It was nice. And cuddly. And quiet. And civilized.

Freakiness the Third: After the movie they both agreed to go upstairs and PLAY TOGETHER. I heard nothing but laughter and friendliness for an hour. I made phone calls. I read blogs. I folded that last load of laundry I told you about--without any interruptions or wailing or cries of “I just wanna play with yoooooooouuuuu Mmmmmommmmmm!”

Freakiness the Fourth: When I suggested we meet a friend at Wendy’s for lunch I was met with, “Yeah! This rocks!” instead of the usual, “I don’t LIKE Wendy’s! I want Old McDonald’s!” Wait. It gets better. At Wendy’s they both agreed to sit beside their friend and made room for all of them on ONE side of the booth. No one complained that the mommies were sitting at their very own table. After lunch I took all three children to QuickTrip and each one quickly chose a treat under a dollar. Yes. Without a huge shopping ordeal or changing their minds each time they came close to the register. After QT we went to the friend’s house where they played together with that ONE friend and no one was left out.

Freakiness the Fifth: Given the choice of going to a baseball meeting at McDonald’s with my husband or sitting with me for an hour at Wild Thing’s first hip-hop dance lesson, Max chose the hip-hop lesson so he could support his sister. When we drove into the parking lot of the dance studio, Max declared his stomach felt weird. Wild Thing agreed that her stomach was weird too. They both discussed it and decided it was butterflies. Then they had this conversation (Max in bold, Wild Thing in italics):

You know that feeling you get when you go to a party?
Yeah. Like you don’t know if they will like you are not.
Together: Nervous.

Max did not complain once during that hour. Instead, he was eager to see what Wild Thing had learned and then tell her how well she did.

 

Seriously. Who has my kids? And just what am I supposed to do with pod children? I would have enjoyed the day, but who knew when that other shoe would drop? And yes, I realize I just jinxed myself. If you think about it, though, I’m not sure I could survive another day like this anyway.